


strong at the broken places

by castielatlas



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx and Okumura Eiji Go to Japan, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Unbury Your Gays, it's what he deserves, overly stressing the fact that Ash Lynx is alive and well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:47:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21687058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielatlas/pseuds/castielatlas
Summary: Ash wakes up to the smell of disinfectant and throbbing pain in his abdomen.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 8
Kudos: 177





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it's 1 am and I work in 4 hours but I just finished Banana Fish and I'm furious therefore I wrote this on my phone. x

Ash wakes up to the smell of disinfectant and throbbing pain in his abdomen.

Briefly, he wonders if he will one day wake up feeling okay. Not necessarily _good_ \- he's not delusional - but okay, at least. If his body isn't physically aching from the aftermath of a fight or a particularly violent assault, his brain unhelpfully supplies traumatic flashbacks to make him suffer through the night and wake up in cold sweat with bile in his throat.

It's more tiring than not sleeping at all.

Ash doesn't need much time to clear his mind from what must be anesthesia induced sleep. And when he does, the first thing that comes to his mind is unsurprisingly,

 _Eiji_. 

Ash blinks his eyes open, staring at the white ceiling of what must be a hospital, considering the tube in his nose and catheter in his arm. Not to mention the smell, and the oh-so-familiar feeling of fresh stitches and a tight bandage around his chest and abdomen. Ah yes, he was stabbed after all.

An humorless chuckle escapes his lips because it feels unreal to be alive, and there is sudden movement next to him. 

Ash snaps his head to his left, his body tensing and immediately ready to fight, cursing the anesthesia for making him too groggy to notice the presence beside him.  
But then his eyes land on the man beside his bed, none other than the non-threatening Max Lobo, and his body relaxes. 

"Ash!" the older man exclaims, way too loud for a hospital room. "You're awake!" 

He wipes the corner of his mouth and straightens up a little, giving Ash enough clues to guess that he was probably asleep himself just a few seconds before. It makes Ash chuckle genuinely this time.

He sits up, needing to get a better view of his surroundings, to asset possible danger, and groans in pain with the effort. _That damn Lao._

"Take it easy," Max grumbles, following Ash's movements with his hands without touching him.

Ash vaguely appreciates it. 

"I'm fine," he says automatically - and to be fair, he is alive and that's as fine as he'll ever be. Highly unexpected, but not surprising in itself. He survived worse. 

"You were stabbed," Max accuses, using his Dad-voice, and Ash feels like a kid being grounded. It makes it difficult for Ash to keep using the sobriquet ironically when Max takes on the role so seriously.

"I didn't ask to be," Ash retorts, because their dynamic brings out his childish pettiness - but as he speaks, sudden anguish overwhelms him. 

He looks up at Max in fear. "Is Eiji okay?"

Somehow he knows it's irrational, but he can't help the anxiety rising. Eiji should be fine. He should be safe and very far away from this mess, from Ash himself - but what if? What if Lao had accomplices? What if they came after Eiji after attacking him? What if--

"Eiji is fine," Max silences his dark thoughts. His eyes soften, and a small smile curls his lips. "He made it back to Japan safely. It was a few days ago, now."

The words are enough to calm Ash's wrecked nerves, and he drops his head, almost plomps down in bed with relief. Eiji is safe. He is safe and that is all that matters.

 _A few days ago_ , Max had said. It made sense that he had been out for a few days, considering it probably took some time before anyone noticed he was bleeding out in the library. He guesses he must have had surgery, judging by his sore throat and residual anesthesia in his aching body. 

It's downright unreal that he survived, but Ash Lynx learned a long time ago that there was no use in dwelling on why he didn't die when he should have.

He was alive, and therefore he would keep on living.

Ash looks back up at Max. "How come I haven't been arrested yet?" 

Max's expression turns sour. 

"Technically, you are under arrest. But you are still in the ICU, so they can't take too drastic measures."

Ash smiles bitterly. "I don't think I have much time left then."

Now that he is awake, it's only a matter of days before he is sent back to prison, where he will certainly remain for the rest of his life. Not that he doesn't deserve it, it's where murderers belong after all. But if before he would have accepted his fate without blinking, now there is something within him that wants rebel against his grim destiny, longing for something else. He knows what. He knows whom. 

"Enough time to figure something out," Max cuts off his thoughts.

Ash looks up, confused. The older man grabs folded pieces of paper from the night stand with the carefulness reserved for precious, fragile things. Ash immediately recognizes Eiji's letter. 

"You have somewhere to be, don't you?" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so back to ignoring canon,

Against all expectations, they do figure it out.

Very few things are deemed "too fast" in Ash Lynx's life. Usually, things - people - are too slow. 

Perhaps, it comes from being the Sharpest Shooter of New York. When you can shoot a man down in 0.03 seconds, everything seems slow next to it. Injuries come fast - death even faster.

There is a perpetual restlessness in his bones. It's pure instinct - because preys who stay still die. Even when his body doesn't move, his mind is constantly reeling. So much of his life is spent wishing for things to be over faster.

The only moments when time seems to pass normally, is when he is with Eiji. The few months spent with the Japanese boy made Ash discover that maybe, the Present wasn't so bad. Maybe, he could just let himself _Be_ \- not run away from the past or rush toward a calculated future. 

It's odd, how Eiji should make him feel alien and monstrous - because he is soft, warm Light where Ash is cold and suffocating Darkness - but instead, he is the only person who manages to make him feel normal. Only with Eiji has Ash ever felt like an ordinary teenager. He clings to this sense of normalcy like his life depends on it - because it does. Eiji helped him understand what it is to truly _live_ and not barely survive.

So when Ash is given the opportunity of a clean start through a fake death and a one-way ticket to Tokyo, Japan, he takes it. He'll be damned if he lets his chance to see Eiji again slip twice. He can't. Not after reading that letter.

It's a little messy, because Max is a newbie when it comes to working against the law, but he has good contacts - and surprising as it is, Ash still has friends willing to help. Old and new.

Dirty money, as always, is the key to it all. People paid to look the other way, falsify hospital reports, make fake papers.

They manage to pull through it all without injuring anyone, and everyone involved is relieved they do; Ash more than he ever expected to be. His hands are still bloody, but he doesn't want to add any more on them - ever again.

He is out of the hospital and in a plane in the span of two hours.

His fake passport in hand, a new pair of square eyeglasses perched on his nose and a beanie on his head, Ash watches the plane take off with strange restlessness. It's a different kind from the one he is used to. It doesn't ache, it _tingles_ -because it's not anxiety, it's _excitement_. 

He doesn't sleep during the flight, just keeps on reading Eiji's letter over and over again. The moment the plane lands, he grabs his bag and jumps up, his legs bouncing with nervous energy and his heart pounding in his chest like a caged beast.

Max had said Eiji would be coming to pick him up. Ash had a burner phone on him, but he didn't want to call. He wanted to hear Eiji's voice directly.

He runs across the Terminal once he's finally out of the plane, and arrives at the gate breathless and aching but it doesn't matter.

"Ash!" Eiji's voice echoes through the airport, and Ash's entire body is pulled toward the sound. 

He spots Eiji faster than he ever shot a gun, the Japanese boy smiling at him so wide it illuminates his entire face. He is so bright Ash feels like the Sun is shining on him again after an eternity spent in cold darkness. 

Suddenly, the ache and breathlessness he feels is less crushing and suffocating - it's almost comforting, reminding him that he is alive. Ash is fully embracing the way all the feelings he's used to tangibly transform into something different - all because of Eiji.

"Eiji!"

Eiji elbows his way through the small crowd of people to get to him and Ash drops his bag to catch him as he jumps in his arms. His weight and warmth is grounding, and that's when Ash truly feels like he actually landed in Japan. 

Somewhere in America, there is a grave with his name on it, and Ash Lynx is fine with it. In many ways, he died in New York.

But here, in Eiji's arms, miles away from his birth country, he is finally Home - and he is _alive_. 


End file.
